I have a lot going on in the next few months. I knew it would be an intense time for me. I’d signed up to help with some volunteer things, and have my normal jobs. I’ve been really stressed and not happy lately. I’ve started to block out the negative things in my Second Life to make things better in my First Life.
When SignPostMarv Martin asked me to help out with the Machinima area of SL4B, SL’s 4th birthday party, I said I would gather Machinima links from over the years to put on the plot. After that, I discovered that when I didn’t attend a meeting, he’d signed me up to hold a Machinima contest during that meeting. This was NOT okay and I let him know so. Then I discovered that I’d have to build a plot, which I am not good at, so I picked one out and worked towards finding builders for the plot.
Today I was asked by “messenger” if I’d be in charge of all the media in SL, such as podcasts and things like The Grid Review. This was the last straw. I left the SL4B group. I am far too busy and stressed trying to plan SLCC and earn my way there with less than three months to go to be worrying about this. I wish them the best of luck.
On top of that, I had someone try to get onto the Machinima track last minute based on their status within the community. I won’t name names, but they wanted to teach a class that was similar to what I already have planned for the track. They had months to express interest in the track and if they’d have looked on the SLCC07 website, they’d have seen that I had something planned. I told them that if their idea didn’t overlap mine, I would extend time from my class out for them, as the entire track is full and has been for a while. They asked me to outline my itinerary to them, and not the other way around. This took me aback because they’re trying to get space on the track and I’m trying to accommodate them. I have time to plan the class because the convention is over two months away, but I had already told him the basic details of what I was going to teach. I dunno, maybe I’m being irrational.
They then sent me an email stating that they assumed that Ben would be teaching the class, so they’d just drop him a note. You see, they didn’t want to step on his toes and felt it would be the perfect opportunity to collaborate. My jaw literally dropped open. When he wasn’t getting anywhere with me, he incorrectly assumed that Ben, my boss for Alt-Zoom, would be teaching this class, so he’d go around me. I informed him that I was the sole planner of the Machinima track. I was teaching the class, so he would go through me. He would be stepping on my toes. I did say, however, that if our classes complemented each other, that I’d be more than happy to extend out my class. He sent me a response saying it’s best to just leave it at that.
I have also extended this blocking out the negative to friends. I blocked a friend from all of my messengers yesterday and it killed me to do so, but I felt that our history was too distracting to think about. Seeing him in my list just saddened me, because between him and another person, I felt stuck in the middle of drama that I do not need.
Maybe I’m going crazy. I’m not sure. I keep telling myself that if I can just survive until SLCC, it’ll all be worth it, but I have to get to that point first. If we’re friends and I haven’t been around much, I apologize. I’m doing a million business things at once and trying to find time for fun, but it’s not working out. Know that I have not forgotten about you. I just don’t want to end up flipping out and being snippy. Man I’m ranting a lot and I’ve said way too much already. I just hope you guys understand. 
Caleb Krivoshein
